Sometimes I wish I used my Tumblr more often, just to vent vs. anything else. I regret so many things I’ve done so far, and seeing a thread on Reddit kills me because I know my largest regret, I just could never admit it on there because its about someone that follows me.

On here, I’m a complete stranger.

Hence, I don’t mind the world reading this, even though no one will ever see it.

I miss him. Even though we’re great friends, and I have a boyfriend, I still miss him. We went on 2 dates and hung out numerous times.  You promised me we would be together in the end, but you lied to me as well as yourself. I wish you didn’t lead me on such that you did. After our amazing last date, i thought things were perfect. 

But you didn’t.

You weren’t ready for a committment, and I would respect that. If you didn’t lead me on such that you did, I would have agreed and set you free. But now, 4 months later, I still die on the inside because I want to be with you. Helping you climb treed and sharing crazy random laughs kills me. Every time we’re together, I look into your eyes and think,

"What if?" 

Feel the need to vent..

So. Never really posted something before of my own thoughts. But, i feel the need to this one time. I have a few points to make. 

1. Youtube. The new channel layout is HORRENDOUS. I cant STAND it. I hate how they made it look like a facebook ‘news feed’ and thats all you can access. There isnt much freedom of creation on the page and it is very dull and boaring. As well, you cant have friends anymore, which made it alot easier to check up and message my friends on youtube VS. the people i subscribe to. AND you cant even comment on someones page anymore! If your in the mood to give someone a general comment that the world can see, you cant!! The only way to communicate is the ‘inbox’ as well as video comments, but im not a huge fan. 

2. Facebook Timeline. I’ve had this layout since the beta version came out, and its not bad nor confusing. Maybe because I’ve had it longer than the general population, but it isn’t bad. They give you more freedom of customization with the cover photo and it is a lot easier to see. They also threw in the addition of when its your birthday, they throw all of those 2 million wall posts into 1 file that you don’t have to deal with, and they don’t flood your wall. The new changes are honestly a *lot* better than what everyone else was used to. 

3. Ex boyfriends. Boys suck. End of story. Well, not really. The ex boyfriend, he is very much not helping this cause. We went out for 14 months but it fell to a bloody end after he did some things to me that i could not forgive him for anymore. Now, whenever we talk it ends in him yelling at me that he hates me and hopes the *next guy* breaks my heart in the bloodiest way possible. Hes being such an asshole. Oh well.

4. Crushes. They are the best building block to the *new guy*. I have liked this new guy for a good 4 months now [because i didn’t like my ex boyfriend, but i stayed with him because we wanted to try.] We have been talking constantly and gone on a few dates. He likes me and has told me, but at the same time he got threttened by my ex not to touch me for atleast a month. What the ex doesnt know wont hurt him. He has no idea me and the *new guy* had an amazing night last night, but it cant be more than that. I am scared that he is going ot just give up on me because of the ex. I don’t want to lose him tho, i like him a *lot*. i wish he knew how much i actually did.

5. Girls + Gaming. Large controversy. Many men believe that girls cannot be a gamer. I believe the contrary. I know more about games than many men and play just as much as them. Maybe i cant beat them on COD, but if it came down to a Bioshock match i could kick their ass with my eyes closed. A lot of the guys i know judge me because i know more than them, and the guys i don’t know think I’m a poser when i come in to school with Assassin’s Creed shirts on. Its horrible and i hate being stereotyped.

gamefreaksnz:

Gabe Newell Portrait by *freddre on deviantART

Our Steam, who art at Valve, Hallowed be thy games. Your service runs, with connection on, as it is DRM. Give us this day our daily deals, and forgive us our piracy, as we forgive those who pirate against us. And lead us not into other services, but deliver us from evil publishers. For thine is the PC kingdom, power, and glory forever. GabeN.

gamefreaksnz:

Gabe Newell Portrait by *freddre on deviantART

Our Steam,
who art at Valve,
Hallowed be thy games.
Your service runs,
with connection on,
as it is DRM.
Give us this day our daily deals,
and forgive us our piracy,
as we forgive those who pirate against us.
And lead us not into other services,
but deliver us from evil publishers.
For thine is the PC kingdom, power, and glory forever.

GabeN.

1,433 notes

gamefreaksnz:

Valve said to be working on ‘Steam Box’ gaming console with partners, could announce at GDC

According to sources, the company has been working on a hardware spec  and associated software which would make up the backbone of a “Steam  Box.” The actual devices may be made by a variety of partners, and the  software would be readily available to any company that wants to get in  the game.

gamefreaksnz:

Valve said to be working on ‘Steam Box’ gaming console with partners, could announce at GDC

According to sources, the company has been working on a hardware spec and associated software which would make up the backbone of a “Steam Box.” The actual devices may be made by a variety of partners, and the software would be readily available to any company that wants to get in the game.

121 notes

if only…
sometimes, i honestly wish we were. i wish everything was fixed. i wish my mind would make up between guys. i wish everything wasnt so difficult…
but it is. hard things such as this are like a shot in the head. my heart screams for it, yet my brain fights til the end. 
…everything was easier. 

if only…

sometimes, i honestly wish we were. i wish everything was fixed. i wish my mind would make up between guys. i wish everything wasnt so difficult…

but it is. hard things such as this are like a shot in the head. my heart screams for it, yet my brain fights til the end. 

…everything was easier. 

gamefreaksnz:

Adam Adamowicz, the concept artist behind most of Bethesda’s titles, passed away today.

Earlier today we learned that Adam  Adamowicz, one of the main concept artists behind Fallout 3, Skyrim and  other Bethesda titles, passed away today. It was silently announced, but  I’d like to shine some light on Adam because he was an anomaly in the  game industry, a veritable one-man conceptual machine, who unlike his  contemporary counterparts, did a majority of his work in non digital  mediums.

gamefreaksnz:

Adam Adamowicz, the concept artist behind most of Bethesda’s titles, passed away today.

Earlier today we learned that Adam Adamowicz, one of the main concept artists behind Fallout 3, Skyrim and other Bethesda titles, passed away today. It was silently announced, but I’d like to shine some light on Adam because he was an anomaly in the game industry, a veritable one-man conceptual machine, who unlike his contemporary counterparts, did a majority of his work in non digital mediums.

516 notes

i wish my heart would pick one and only one… why do you have to choose 2?